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Are you dreading Christmas this year? Worried about the change in routine and focus on food and partying? Are you a parent worried about how to support your child over the holiday period?
As we move into December, our thoughts turn to Christmas. While Christmas can be a magical and exciting time, especially for children, it can also bring challenges. Christmas may involve more social gatherings, family reunions and increased pressure for people with eating disorders and their loved ones. Many people find Christmas difficult for a variety of reasons, however it can be a particularly challenging time for those with an eating disorder. Lots of food and talk about food, pressure to eat different foods from usual, having to eat with new people, fears of bingeing on Christmas chocolates or similar, changes to routine, less opportunity to exercise, spending lots of time with family, comments from people you haven’t seen for a while – can all add to the pressure. Worrying about how your eating disorder may ‘spoil’ the day for others, can add to your stress.
As a parent of a young person with an eating disorder, you may be concerned about how your son or daughter will cope with the changes and added demands. How can you balance family customs and the wishes of other siblings with the specific support your child needs? You don’t want to let the eating disorder take over Christmas, but some planning and adjustments might be helpful.
Whether you are a parent, a young person, or an adult with an eating disorder, take some time to think about what is realistic for you at Christmas this year. It’s OK to not be able to manage everything or have the ‘perfect’ Christmas – this is part of your recovery journey. Share your concerns with those relevant to you and develop a plan, including for Christmas Day.
Consider the timings of meals – you may need to alter these from normal or change your snack times. For the Christmas meal, agree in advance what you will be eating so there is no uncertainty or unwelcome surprises. If you are trying new foods, try and practice some of these in the run up to Christmas. Sit next to someone you trust who can support you if needed and perhaps have a sign to show if you are struggling. Having fewer people than usual or changing the setting may also help.
If you’re an expat, you may be returning home for Christmas or have family coming to stay with you. This can create stress as you fit into someone else’s routine or attempt to be the perfect host! Speak to family or friends in advance to think about how to manage best. Worries about comments on appearance or eating are normal, if possible, give relatives a heads up to avoid these.
Focus on aspects of Christmas you can enjoy, for example, decorating the tree, carol singing, going to Church. Build some alternative Christmas traditions & games – a short walk along the beach or countryside, video calling family who are far away.
Keep using your coping strategies –it’s ok to take some time away from the ‘noise’, go for a walk, or relax in a quiet room. Consider what distractions might be helpful – especially after eating – watching a Christmas movie, playing a game or doing a jigsaw, listening to a podcast or some calming music.
Written by: Dr Victoria Mountford
Dr Victoria Mountford
